More talk of Dordogne property, the flu and the British fascination with sofas.

PROPERTY in the Dordogne is somewhat of an obsession with us and, I suppose, most of my compatriates in the real estate business. Even when we're off-duty it's a bit of a busman's holiday.

Over dinner at friends' the topic of conversation invariably comes around to the state of the French housing market when we're asked to take out the crystal ball and make our forecasts for 2009 almost as payment for the sumptuous meal.

These days that conversation gets shorter and shorter. In the few seconds it takes for people to hear confirmation of their worst fears they move on to the next subject.

My favourite dinner guest is usually french with an enormous passion for wild food.

'Truffle' is the word on everyone's lips at the moment. Unless, that is, you know where to find them.

Jean-Jacques is a jolly local farmer who has just sold some land, including four heactares of woodland, to an English family. He took great delight in telling the tale of the day earlier in the week when he walked the land with his new neighbours before going to the notaire to complete.

When they got to the track that went through the wood he explained that this was the right of way to his land beyond that was mentioned in the contract they would sign later that day. 

The new owners nodded in agreement and almost instantly complained about a pungent, earthy smell.

'Ah, ah yes', laughed Jean-Jacques . 'It's not very nice, is it ?' 

'Don't worry. In a few days it will be gone.' And, of course, his grateful new neighbours were glad that everything seemed to have got off on the right foot, reassured that the foul stench would be taken care of.

The sale of the land came and went. As did the smell, true to Jean-Jacques's word.

'Why is it', asked a bemused Betrand, 'that the British seem to be so fascinated by sofas'?

Bertand is married to Alison who is english. They have SKY on satellite so that Alison can keep up with the soaps and Bertrand, who spent two years in Derby, can follow the Coca-Cola league.

He's right. We have english telly over here too and sure enough every five minutes there's an ad for 50% off this sofa from one company or buy that sofa now and don't pay anything until 2010. How does that work?

'If I can buy a sofa at half price today' he said 'then aren't they ripping me off in the first place?'

'Maybe it's because there will be a lot more people out of work over there in the next year.'

Bertrand is a retired french businessman and Eureka! was all over his face as the words left his mouth. 'That's it!' He looked over at Alison. 'Let's open a sofa business.'

The village doctor hadn't said a word all evening.

Margaret, our hostess, being polite asked if his surgery was busier than usual as a result of the recent cold front that the French around the table believed to be British.

'Non', said the Doctor.  'My surgery is always busy'

'In fact, I think there may be a few 'regulars' who just come for a chat in the waiting room, who see it as a meeting place, especially when it's cold. But if it makes them feel better then I don't see the harm in it' he said.

'Maybe they'd like a nice new sofa instead of those hard plastic chairs you have in there?' chanced Bertrand.

Happy New Year!